My Journey

English 101 online was more of a challenge than I expected.   The conferences were very helpful;  they gave the online class a human aspect.  Blogging was a first for me, and I enjoyed it.   It was difficult finding my way around D2L, but I managed to maneuver my way through the process.  For me,  trying to write three pages from the work presented to the class was like pulling nails out of a wall with fingertips. but somehow I did it.  I definitely would keep the conferences, but I would eliminate the peer review. Although I did receive useful tips from classmates, I don't think a 101 class has the experience to critique the work of others.  My suggestion would be for students to list things helpful in their writing, and let fellow classmates select from that list what  fits them best.

Most of all I admired the willingness of our professor to give a helping hand.
 

Assignment 2-5

My peer essay on Kalman was a reflection of my essay.  I thought it was unique and personal how he was able to bring his personal situation into his essay.  I am confused becaused I didn't receive a review.

I really received good tips from my conference.  One in particular was the use of pictures to maximize my essay writing.  Also, I recieved pointers on how to make my thesis stronger.

Reflective Essay Draft 5-1

Sarah Smith-Pittman 1

Sarah Smith-Pittman

Professor:  Rachel Sullivan

English 101

29 November 2011

REFLECTIVE ESSAY DRAFT

     When I first opened my book to read “A.D. New Orleans After the Deluge” by Josh Neufeld, I notice the panels on the first pages depicted predominately African Americans.  This prompted me to flip through the pages of Neufeld’s work just to view the panels.  The look of fear and distress on the people faces were palpable.  After seeing the panels of white police officers, with guns pointing at these distressed people with no intention to help them; I knew what my thesis statement would be.

     My thesis statement evolved into “AD New Orleans After the Deluge” paints a grim picture of disparity between races after a natural disaster in New Orleans:  leaving a group of people to think they were intentionally directed and sent to the Convention Center of New Orleans to die.  To support my thesis, I made reference to specific panels (which I should have been more descriptive of in my writing)   to persuade my readers that deception and disparity played a big role in the evacuation process.  

Smith-Pittman 2

The first two panels from page 219 are of polices in squad cars.  One of the cars is  in the distance, and the other car is close up.   I quoted the textboxes from the panels to show the deception of the officer, and the description of the panel to prove the race of the officers.

These two quotes from officers at two different times in Neufeld’s writing are evidence of deception.  On page 219 an officer says  “Attention, people…”  “The buses are on their way get yourselves lined up!”.   These people are seen in panel one of page 222 in a line as the bus arrives. They actually think they are about to be rescued, but to their dismay and officer steps off the bus and says “All right, people step back now!” “Let ‘em off!”.  I though this would show deception at its best.   The people in line was wondering who are these people getting off the bus; they thought the bus were there to take them to Huston. 

     Not all African Americans use slain, but I used some of the slain, ebonics, and descriptions of the people to prove the identity of the group not evacuated to prove disparity.  Also to prove disparity, I paraphrased Neufeld when people wanted to walk their way out of those conditions to Algiers, but were turned around by sheriffs.   Some of these people had family in Algiers and were trying to connect with them, but they were met with gunfire from the sheriffs telling them to get the hell back where they came from, meaning the hell hole of the Convention Center.  Finally, I thought using these quotes would erase any doubt in my audience minds that didn’t know of the disparity and desperation of these people.  “They won’t let us go! We trapped here!”.   “There ain’t gonna be no busses comin’! “ . “They brought us here to die!”.  

Smith-Pittman 3

My purpose is not to make this a race issue, but to shine a light on the disparity that happen during the evacuation process of Hurricane Katrina.

     I had to read “The Falling Man” several times to get an understanding where Tom Junod was going with his writing.  His use of just one photo, and interview with the Hernandez family, and a phone call to the Connecticut women made me a believer that he was searching for the identity of the man pictured in the photo of his writing. 

     As I stated in my essay, Junod knew of the negative connotation associated with the Jumpers, so he waited a few years hoping the hearts of America had somewhat healed.  To convince my audience Junod was in search for “The Falling Man” identity, I asked why did he only use the one photo, and used his statement “that we have known who the Falling man is all along” (80).  I am convinced that he use that statement because he thought the negative image associated with jumping had deterred public acknowledgement of this victim.  To prove my observation of this I cited the belief of the Hernandez family that the decision to jump was a betrayal of love, and some looked at jumping as lost of hope.  Even though I do believe that Junod is trying to find the identity of the man pictured in his writing, it was very hard for me to come up with solid evidence to support my thesis. 

4-5 Reflection

Kalman

In "Back to the Land " my purpose is to inform people who think their lifestyles are too busy to incorporate home grown vegetable that this isn't true.  Maira Kalman agrees that everyone is not a farmer, so I give examples how to live an agrarian lifestyle on a smaller scale.  One example is if you don't have the spacious land our forefathers had to grow  gardens, pots or some sort of container can be utilized on a smaller scale to grow vegetables on a patio. I used photos to compare and contrast the fast lifestyle of today's society to the slow,sometime laborious, lifestyle of our forefathers.  My point is to Urban society, you can have the fast lifestyle and still make time to eat healthy.

Neufeld

My intent is to provide evidence through Josh Neufeld's writing to those who have disbelief that disparity in race played a major role in the evacuation process of Hurricane Katrina. I used panels which depicted predominantly African American being controlled with guns by what appears to be a few Whites  Police Officers in squad cars and army tanks.  To show how desperate these people were for the basic necessity of life (f00dand water), I referred to the panels of looters and thugs. Also, to provide evidence these people thought they were taken to the Convention Center to die, I quoted from Neufeld's writing "They gonna open the floodgates and drown us!" (235).

Junod

In my essay, I am appealing to the family and friend of the victim Tom Junod focuses on in "The Falling Man".  The initial release of the image of the victim, was seen as taboo.  I am using Junod's description of  the victim's fall to dispel the use of suicide and other negative notions to bring some dignity to the victim.  My strategy is to use Junod's terms such as relaxed, comfortable, not appearing intimidated, and "if he were not falling, he might very well be flying"  in hope to release the notion of suicide which can be frowned upon.  My hope is with time my audience will come forward and positively identify the victim since we have photo(s) which gives a clear description of his face.  Junod's writing never clearly stated that this victim was positively identified.  Only that it might be Jonathan Briley.

                                                        



Quotation 4-1

Tom Junod wants  the victim of his writing to be layed to rest with an identity.  But for now, "the picture is his [the victim] cenotaph, and like the monuments dedicated to the memory of unknown soldiers everywhere, it asks that we look at it, and make one simple acknowledgment" that someone knows who "The Falling Man"  really is (80).

Junod is simply asking his readers if you know who this person is,  give him a name, and lay him to rest.

Junod: Rhetorical Situation

Junod writing sends a message that we don't want to be seen as vulnerable or attached to something viewed as taboo by society.

After Richard Drew, the photographer of the image, quest to identity the victim came to a halt;  Junod's interest began. Junod waited to write this piece in hope that our hearts might have healed somewhat from that devastating day.  Tom Junod decide to seek the identity of the victim through a less invasive form of medium in hope a reader will come forth.  Junod is asking his audience to take a look at the image and give this victim a name, a face, and fill his empty tomb.

Assignment 4-1 A Desperate Decision

     On the day of "The Falling Man", I was driving to work listening to the radio.  There was an interruption into the song playing on the radio.  I was confused about an airplane crashing into the Twin Towers until I entered into my workplace.  I was in disbelief. 

     "The Falling Man"  is a true story of a man falling from one of the Twin Towers during 9/11, 2001.  The man's unusual position during his fall prompted the photographer to seek out the identity of this man. 

     There was a lot of compare and contrast in this writing.  Some saw the man's fall to his demise as the grace of an Olympic while others perceived his fall as inelegant.  The Hernandez family saw it as a betrayal of the love ones left behind.  In contrast, If it was Johnathan Briley,  the writer look at it as the man way of trying to get back to his family.   To me, he took on a position to land in a certain area he had selected; hoping he would survive.

     The photographer's many quest to find the identity of this man showed how people interpreted this man hope for survival.  Some took a religious view on it and some seemed not to want to be associated with him.  It was unusual that only one photo was used in this writing.  It was Junod way of keeping his readers focusing on this individual as a symbol of desperation for all who perish that dreadful day.

    


           

    

Assignment 3-5 Revision Plan

I plan to reread my essay to get a better understanding on reorganizing my paragaphs.  My essay contains several quoted ( which I like), because they give my argument validity.  On the other hand, I have to separate them to prevent them from looking and sounding like run on sentences. These quotes can be revised by spreading them through the paper. 

My Peer Review provided me with some good feedback.  She spoke of how she almost got lost in the reading and the disorganizing of my paragraphs.

Assignment 3-4 Part 1

I like the content of my essay; I think my thesis statement really could create an argument that the people pictured in the comic panels clearly depict inequality.  My transition from paragraph to paragraph is not smooth.  I really need to work on that area of writing.  Please provide some techniques in making a smooth transition.  My essay provides many quotes and references from the comic, but they come across cluttered.  These quotes and references validates my argument.  Can you identify my thesis statement?

Assignment 3-2 New Orleans

Josh Neufeld's "A.D. New Orleans After the Deluge" panels paint a grim picture of disparity between the poor and rich in a natural disaster in America. If you are not at the table when decisions are made, you will be left behind when the resources from those decision are distributed.  Get an education a be at the table.

After reading "A.D. New Orleans After the Deluge", I developed an urgency to send a message to the poor to get educated and participate in the decision of America's government which affects everyone. 

Hurricane Aftermath

"New Orleans After the Deluge" panels depict a horrifying picture of African Americans left in a hopeless, filthy situation for days after Hurricane Catrina.  His visual rhetoric and images put more emphasis on these distressed individuals lack of communication skills and the disparity between have and have not.

There is a pattern of profanity and frustration throughout  this piece.  People are upset because they believe they have been guided to the Convention Center to die.  They don't have the most basic necessity of life food and water, and there are no one in a hurry to provide these items.

The most unusual thing about this writing is the organizational skills of the so called thugs.  These individuals looted and orderly distributed the items they acquired to survive.  They provided the elderly, then the children, and next the women.

Digging in

Friday, September 23, 2011

Kalman's Reading

When I was assigned "Back to the Land" as a read, my first though was a boring difficult to read piece.  But, to my surprise, this was a educational and personal habit change reading for me.  I found it very interesting how the author use of our founding fathers as a pathos guide in the utilization of land through organic farming. Two other elements I found interesting about "Back to the Land" was the assertion of a slower pace of life and democracy.  The slower pace of life caught my attention, because everyone seems to be in such a hurry all the time, but with a desire for simplicity.  The use of democracy in the distribution of organic healthy food to the poor as  well as the rich was interesting, because you are what you eat; everyone should have the basic foundation for good health which is healthy food.  The utilization of our land in it natural state free of pesticides, a slower pace of life through simplicity and democracy for all in every way can bring back thatserenity and healthy eating we have destroyed over time that our forefather enjoyed. 

The repetition of farmers, and  the strand of fast (food, talk, walk) signifies that the composer is trying to convince the audience that our way of life has become out of control, and we can simplify it by reverting back to a simple lifestyle. 

It struck me as odd to cook an egg in a spoon over an open flame,  but I guess that is part of simplifying life.  This part  I can do without.

Thesis Statement/Purpose

"Back to the Land" uses large visuals  of fast people and fast food to help convey a message that our society is living an out of control lifestyle, because we abandon our forefathers simple agrarian lifestyle.  We must return to utilizing the lands organic resources as our primary means of support and sustenance to reset the mentally of our society.

My purpose is to get the attention of a audience who wants a healthier , slower pace of life, mainly the baby-boomers.  They partially created the attitude of wanting everything right now, bigger and faster. They are aging, and the economy has striped many of their wealth, so they will be interested in helping to bring back some simplicity.  This is an audience experienced in the hussle and bussle of life and understands the foundation of health, which is healthy eating.  They just got lost.

Doctor's Office

My view of a doctor's office was a sterile place with a few rows of hard chairs with  straight backs.  Last week, my views were shattered.  I visited a doctor's office which had to be designed and decorated by someone with a calm spirit and a love for nature.  The sofas were white leather which reflected a feel of sterilization and peace, but the appeal to patients that it was okay to have a seat of comfort. Carpets of an enhanced dirt color with a hint of white spects partially covered the hardwood floors which had a shine of the sun on a cloudless day. 

This office sent a message to patiences wheather true or false,  that their care would  be a reflection of this office.  The plants were spottless.  There weren't even a hint of neglect.  Their branches took on the appearance of those belonging  to a healthy tree.  This space maker is sent a message of I care.